


Busy Begging the Past to Stay

by executive_gay



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Jester Lavorre-centric, but not actually pirates, but the ending is not, i have no idea what to tag this but hey, its sad, just pirates for the aesthetic, really only jester/beau/yasha if you squint though, the mighty nein retire and become Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23207692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/executive_gay/pseuds/executive_gay
Summary: It wasn’t all at once, like Jester had always figured.In all the stories, the heroes defeated the big terrible bad guy, and then they all went back to their lives. Jester had always thought that the Mighty Nein would be like that, that they would defeat some big evil bad guy, like maybe a dragon, or one of those gross ball eye thingies with the other eyes that Beau had showed her in a book one time…--I was thinking about what the Mighty Nein would do after they were done Mighty Neining, and my brain went straight to the saddest conclusion. I'm sorry.(title from 'When' by dodie)
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	Busy Begging the Past to Stay

It wasn’t all at once, like Jester had always figured. 

In all the stories, the heroes defeated the big terrible bad guy, and then they all went back to their lives. Jester had always thought that the Mighty Nein would be like that, that they would defeat some big evil bad guy, like maybe a dragon, or one of those gross ball eye thingies with the other eyes that Beau had showed her in a book one time… 

Of course, she really should've figured that it wouldn’t go at all like the stories. She’d been adventuring for like, at least four years by then, when they’d started leaving. Veth was the first to go. Which was, fine. It was great, really! She had a whole family, and Jester knew how much they missed her, and she had a _lot_ of money and stuff, so it wasn’t like she needed to make more of _that_ … and Jester could still message her! In fact, she did it every day, for the first few weeks! And then every other day, cause Veth was busy. And then they had to fight that one kraken, and Jester needed to save spells, and well... she kind of sort of forgot to, after that. But it was okay, cause they still sent letters, and pastries! When they could.

It actually took Fjord dying three times before they all decided it was better that he, well, she didn’t want to say _retired_ , but half-orcs aged a bit faster than humans did, and he’d been technically the oldest of them when they’d all met, and, well, no one wanted him to die _again_. Obviously. Jester just kind of sort of wished that Caduceus hadn’t insisted on going with him, cause then she was the only cleric left in the party! It had taken her a while to get used to having to prepare healing spells whenever they went into battle, instead of cool ones, like Control Weather. And she also kind of missed waking up every morning to Caduceus’s on-sea attempts at baking (he’d really actually gotten pretty good). 

He and Fjord had an entire _orphanage_ to bake for now, so really, it was totally fine. If only they sent her more pastries… then she might be able to fill all the empty space left on the Ball Eater. The entire Nein (there were only five of them now) had felt the absence of their captain, too. Beau had to learn how to sail a ship, actually, not just repeat whatever Fjord said in a dramatic voice. It was Jester, actually, who had to do most of the dramatic yelling now. and even though it was actually really fun (she couldn’t believe Beau had been stealing that job for so long), it didn’t feel _right_. 

Jester always knew that Caleb and Essek would leave too, eventually. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise at all, really, when they stopped pretending that they didn’t like their fancy wizard books and things― Jester still couldn’t make sense of any of them― more than fighting monsters. She understood. Kind of. But… Like, really, c’mon. She knew they were _squishy_ , but wasn’t it even _exciting_ anymore? Didn’t they _like_ fighting monsters, and ending wars (even if they’d started one or two of those wars― but that wasn’t the _point_ )?

Who was supposed to turn her into wooly mammoths, or make her float everywhere, or let her draw dicks in their spellbooks now that they were doing all their fancy wizard things? She knew that keeping peace in Wildemount, and ‘teaching the next generation of mages’ or whatever Caleb kept telling her he was doing was really important and all. She had just thought that maybe the Mighty Nein was important too, you know? 

✽✽✽

Beau and Yasha never left though. Jester thought that they would, by then. Everyone else had left, so obviously this was going to end like everything else did. Everyone on an adventure, with Jester… alone again. But it was okay, cause she was really good at entertaining herself alone, and she had the Traveler, didn’t she? Even if he didn’t talk to her as much anymore. She kind of wished she hadn’t done so much to spread the religion, now. 

She’d asked Yasha and Beau, one night, what they were going to do when they left, too. 

_Why would we leave?_ Yasha had said. It had made Jester pause, for a moment. She’d never really thought about that part, just, well, _Everyone’s left, you know? Veth went back to her family and Caduceus, and Fjord went to start their orphanage, and you know, get more people to follow the Wildmother and Caleb and Essek went to go keep peace or whatever, and I guess that’s all great and all, really cool, really, and I just figured, you know, that you would―_

Jester hadn’t really realized how many tears were stuck in her throat until they started making it hard to talk. _That you’d have… cooler things to do too, I guess._

Beau had wrapped an arm around her then, and turned away from the sunset over the water to look at Jester.

_C’mon Jes, what could be cooler than being a pirate captain?_ She’d asked.

_Well, we’re not really pirates…_ They hadn’t technically raided any boats in a long time by then. Mostly just the lairs of big snea snakes, and krakens, and sometimes even a dragon.

_Whatever. It’s the thought that counts._

_You wouldn’t ever want to go back and like… be a monk who spies on like, evil people and kicks ass?_

_Nah, I kick plenty of ass here._

Jester had laughed a bit, at that. _You wouldn’t want to go home, Yasha? To Xhorhas? Or… I don’t know…_

Yasha hadn’t said anything, at first, but Jester had known her long enough to know she didn’t need to hurry to speak like other people did. _My home has always been where my family is. And you are all my family._

That’d made Jester smile. _Even Marius?_

_He has gotten quite good at killing people since we first met him, don’t you think?_

They’d all laughed at that, and Jester had slept easier that night, with Yasha and Beau next to her, knowing they wouldn’t leave, at least for a while. 

✽✽✽

A few weeks later, when they’d docked in Nicodranas to see Caduceus and Fjord and Momma, they’d seen a familiar face at the Open Quay.

_I am Kiri!_ she’d said, and it was pretty weird hearing her own voice come out of the mouth of a not-so-little-anymore Kenku. 

Kiri was looking for a job, on a ship. She’d said it all in a mix of different voices, and none of them were familiar, and it was reminding Jester how, wow, she’d grown up so fast and all without them. But then Kiri had pulled out a dagger, which she was actually really good at (Beau was lucky Kiri wasn’t trying to hurt her, she _definitely_ would’ve gotten stabbed), and said _It’s_ sharp _!_ in that accent that Fjord used to use, and sure, Kiri was all grown up now, but she was still _Kiri_.

_Welcome to the Mighty Nein!_ She’d crowed, and so then there were four.

And when they’d met another little tiefling girl, looking for money, and a family after that dragon turtle had capsized her ship, well, that was five of them!

Another ex-scourger in Rexxentrum, a paladin of the Traveler, and that was six… Seven… and then eight… 

And now it was years and years later, and there weren’t really just three of them, or just nine even. There were ten or so, and like, at least sixteen if you counted everyone on the crew, and if you counted everyone, like Calianna, and Reani, and Keg, and Nila, and Twiggy, and Molly, and Caleb and Fjord and Essek and Caduceus and Veth, cause they were still part of the Mighty Nein, even if they were doing other things now, and everyone else they’d welcomed over all the years they’d been doing this, well, it was a _lot_.


End file.
